Top Ten Sensory Experiences that Make Me Break Out in a Cold Sweat

10) Baloon sqealing. Where the person blows up the baloon, pinches the end, and it lets out an unearthly wail.
9) Chalk on a chalkboard. I don't care if it's dull or sharp, soft or hard-- I will leave the room without a bathroom pass.
8) The sound of ice chewing. Ohhh, my teeth hurt for you.
7) The sound of styrofoam when someone opens a package. Oooohhh... goosebumps just thinking about it.
6) The FEELING of styrofoam when I'M opening a package-- never never never!! Please don't wrap it!! No magic peanuts!
5) That sound that a mircophone makes when there's too much interference and it's turned on loud. Testimony meetings aren't supposed to cause physical pain!
4) The feeling of soft cotton-- especially the stuff you take out of pill jars. Ooohhhh, no no no.
3) The feeling of soft cotton INSIDE MY MOUTH. I don't dread the drill at the detist's office-- I dread the dressing.
2) The feeling of dirt/clay residue on my hands after I'm done with a gardening/pottery task. Ohhhh, get it off!
1) Country Music.

Top Ten Bad Prom Themes.

I yoinked this idea (and a couple of the entries) from my little brother's
( http://www.edmason.blogspot.com/ )blog.

10) Famous Muppet Couples.

9) The Donner Party.

8) A night in Whoville.

7) the Laundromat.

6) Famous Hippies.

5) matching socks (Like Sadie Hawkins, only socks).

4) Politically Incorrect Prom.

3) Proselyting Prom.

2) Famous General Authority Couples

1) Hell.

Top ten ways that technology has made our lives (ahem) easier.

10) Cell phones have become smaller and smaller so that you can keep them anywhere... and also lose them anywhere.

9) Cell phones also have special features now, like silent vibration and text messaging, that make it possible for any one of your aquaintances to track you down anywhere, anytime, if there's an emergency... or if there's not.

8) Cars make it possible to get to farther places faster than our pioneer ancestors, so that we can get jobs in big cities and have homes in the suburbs, because the commute is only an hour and a half, and with eight to ten hours at work, that leaves... approximately a half-hour of waking time actually at home with our families.

7) Television creates an opportunity for the entertainment geniuses of our time to do their stuff, and we have the opportunity to watch it five hours a day, seven days a week.... time during which, if you use it to practice the piano or acting or tai kwon do, you could develop some pretty phenomenal entertaining abilities yourself.

6) Farming has now become industrial, and so a much bigger number of people can be supported by a much smaller number of farmers... who employ techniques such as pest-spraying, unseasonal harvesting, and chemical preserving in order to actually be able to have the time to grow enough food to support such a large number of people.

5) The internet has made it possible to find any piece of information, anywhere... and it's so easy, even young children can use it; and do, every day.

4) With calculators, math is so much quicker and easier... in fact, they make it so quick, and so easy, that there are times when I fear I have forgotten how to do long division.

3) With a credit card, it is much easier to go shopping, because you don't have to carry all this confusing cash around, and also you can buy your groceries even in the middle of the month... all that confusing cash is so bothersome to think about.

2) With a digital camera, you can take hundreds of beautiful pictures of everything of importance in life... and the colors and image are so true to life that you hardly even feel left out seeing all of this through the camera lens.

1) A computer is an amazing thing. Life is so much more organized, quick, efficient... you can get so much done with a computer, that it's worth the hours each day of time spent figuring out how to make it work right.

reasons why spiders don't make good pets

Top ten reasons why spiders don't make good pets.

10) OK I lied. There's only one reason.

I really don't think I need to tell you what that is.

wierd things perfectly normal parents make their kids do

Top ten wierd things that perfectly normal parents make their kids do


1) eat disgusting, mooshy brown spots on fruit. No adult would do such a thing.
2) ditto to charred toast edges.
3) learn how to throttle and imobilize someone using ancient aisian dance techniques.
4) play outside during any and all daylight hours in temperatures ranging from 20-110 degrees farenheit.
5) wear foam-laden, neon-colored swimsuits that resemble rain barrels and render swimming, and all arm movement, nearly impossible.
6) demonstrate musical, artistic, gymnastic, and asian throttling abilities to any and all dinner guests, home and visiting teachers, and innocent passers-by
7) wear the jeans that got washed with a red sweatshirt, and the white leotard that got washed with jeans. Just to let you know: it is not fun to be the only purple ballerina in the class.
8) trick-or-treating. Do we really want to teach our kids the lesson that dressing up in masks, demanding plunder, and threatening the kind elderly couple next door is the way to do it?
9) ditto for easter. So you've got a bunny that lays eggs. The eggs are filled with chocolate and candy. And this is all done in celebration of the ressurection of Christ. I hope you realize that you, as a parent, are going to have a lot of 'splainin' to do.
10) go to high school.

Silliest dating service nicknames

Top ten actually documented silliest mormon dating service nicknames that have been thought of.

10) Ephraimiteblondie
9) GollyMolly
8) Ipraydlastnite
7) I'llmowyourlawn
6) Celestialpursuit2
5) ileaveyoubreathless
4) liahonachick
3) Nephi2006
2) cutiepatootie46
1) and the number one silliest mormon dating service nickname that has been thought of......

OhToBeOne

Bad Ideas that BYU affiliates have come up with

Top Ten Bad Ideas that BYU Affiliates Have Come Up With

10) Using the online BYU student directory as a dating service. We learn from experience that the a chemistry major is not necessarily intelligent, just like a PE major isn't necessarily attractive.

9) Break-The-Fasts. A person can OD on funeral potatoes.

8) Using fast and testimony meeting as a personal ad. The fact that you've been the Elder's Quorum president, have had one hundred percent home teaching for three years, and are Elder John H Groberg's nephew does not necessarily exude an aura of 'dateability.'

7) Male classical ballerinas. You can't tell me that tights, used in such a manner, aren't against the honor code.

6) Signing up for seventeen credits with the intention of listening to lectures through the baby monitor while chasing small infants down the hallway outside of the classroom. I understand where you're coming from, but, c'mon guys. Let's be realistic here. And yes, you really SHOULD worry if your child's first word is "superego."

5) Holding Elder's quorum in the anatomy and physiology classroom. There's nothing like a three-dimentional, anatomically correct model of the female body with removable parts to take the spirit right out of the meeting.

4) Family home evening groups. The radom pairing of marriage-happy student ward members into a pseudo family with a mother, father, and children has ghastly sociological implications.

3) 'Mormon Rock'. I don't want to hear a line like "whenever I hear the song of a bird" or "singing, singing, all the day, give away, oh give away" accompanied by electric guitars. When I have to listen to it, I feel sorry for people who grew up in the 60's.

2) The SFLC. Not only was it pronounced, "syphillis;" Walking down the hallway and looking at the advertisments and displays was like attending seven homemaking meetings and listening to 32 relief society lessons.

1) The number one bad idea that byu affiliates have come up with is the Clyde building. What goes on in there? Not many women know. But one thing I know: the lobby smells like chicken soup and fish sticks. I think it's because so many poor young men spend whole years of their life there without stopping long enough to take a shower.